Thursday, April 1, 2010
I just thought that I'll make it clear to you that by doing this, I'm not leaving you on purpose. It's times like this that I don't really have a choice, if I don't want things to be so miserable for myself. You're not the only one feeling lost or frustrated or like you don't belong anywhere. cos I feel like there is nowhere for me to go. No place I can fit in.

But I really still care a lot. So much that it tears my heart sometimes to watch what I've left behind. And I really care about you. And I did not do this because I wanted someone else. It's that I don't want her. Or maybe I really really don't want that her but somehow, in the corner I never really realised, I did prefer someone else.

Someone else who did understand me more and really knew what she was trying to do to me. Someone who I could talk to about it without offending the person I tell. Someone who told me what she thought about it. and someone who shared stuff like these with me too. and these kind of stuff, it's a 2-way thing. I just don't feel right to tell you these kind of stuff when you don't tell me these kind of stuff too. okay, it's getting confusing for me too.

But if it weren't for her, this would never happen at all. And I've never thought that you aren't good enough for me. I don't think of you as a boring person. And I'm going to make it clear here that. it's was never you. and it should never be.

Hoping you'll realise.
Written at 9:49 PM by my own fantasy.